humour at the society
One doesn’t always realise that minutes can be a source of amusement, not as a deliberate action but rather because times and habits change. One thing is certain, though, middle of the road humour is nearly always universal.
The Distribution Manager , Mr Eric Russell, fell ill. He recovers and it is stated rather quaintly in the minutes that he ‘thanked the committee for their solicitude’ while he was in hospital.
Five years on and our Treasurer (Mr R White) reported than a plot holder had kept back 16p because the water on his site wasn’t available until 1st May whereas it should have been ready on 1st March!
In August of the same year, a letter arrived stating that the Churchfield site is ‘a slum’, but that is matched by the comment that parts of Piggottshill ‘look like the back streets of Calcutta’. Whether the person making the accusation had ever visited that part of India is not known.
It is true that the allotment sites were not always used in the manner for which they were set up; a bath appears on one site (2010), then another. A trampoline had been sighted a few years earlier. Children were having water pistol fights, and one went fishing. And, the landlord of a local pub had been caught filling up his duck pond using the society’s water.
January 1984 was a year to remember as it was reported there had been some dumping going on in the toilet on site and in the spinney next to the site. But, the committee decided as late as 1987, to avoid any further embarrassment, by agreeing to place a bolt on the inside door of the Piggottshill toilet to guarantee privacy for the ladies.
People sometimes make off the cuff remarks which, maybe, with a bit of thought they might not have made in the first place. It was reported that someone on the Sibley site had been on gardening leave – as a result his plot was much tidier.
In the late 1990s a committee member writes in to say that she couldn’t manage her plot properly because people often engaged her in conversation on committee business. A bad plot is the subject of a letter at Churchfield and the plotholder replies that he was ‘attempting to achieve the maximum crop for the minimum of effort'.
The style of the Society’s Secretaries has varied and there are several examples of humour. For example, the entry in December one year states that Harry Fisher continues to build structures on Mrs Scholl’s plot leads one wanting to hear more about this item.
The one we particularly like was written after an Annual General Meeting in the 1990s. ‘The Chairman reviewed the year with scant regard to chronology starting with the exceptional fine weather. We then surged ahead into June. Next, we leapt back to October ….a film crew for ITV kids programme The Food Factory was at Piggottshill. (Phew! How does a man of 83 find the energy for all this bounding and zooming?)
And how about this? In May, the suggestion of a possible magazine was dropped ‘with a resounding thud’.
And this? After a lengthy debate the minutes read: ‘This secretary refuses to put on permanent record in these minutes the complete waste of time and the deluge of harsh words that followed. It seems we forgot that we were there to discuss allotment gardening business.’ This comment was to be replaced by the Chairman’s (Percy Bradbury’s) amendment: ‘Whilst much of the Discussions Document’s contents were well received by the committee and were felt worthy of future discussion, it was felt that the presentation left much to be desired.’
There are many light touches such as:
2002: Chairman Derek Green exchanges flame-thrower for vacuum cleaner;
2008 August: The Society loses its ‘unfortunate acronym’ from the website page.
2009 Re muck: Athol has delivered manure onto site and his supply is now exhausted. Over to the horses
2010: Mention is made of a plot holder’s grape crop and his vintage referred to as Chateau SHAGS.
Finally, it is always advisable if you are in charge of the meeting to make sure you have the ear of the committee members. In one classic case of about-turns we read that the Chair states that these meetings have become too formal (Item 11 Committee Membership). In the previous month it had been agreed by all that the meetings were too relaxed.
But, let’s leave the final thought to our old friend Health & Safety. In November 2010, an item appears that lids are being prepared for covering water butts to meet Health and Safety requirements. It was noted that in the previous August and September that about four inches of rain had fallen. A minute states with conviction: No children found inside to date.
The Distribution Manager , Mr Eric Russell, fell ill. He recovers and it is stated rather quaintly in the minutes that he ‘thanked the committee for their solicitude’ while he was in hospital.
Five years on and our Treasurer (Mr R White) reported than a plot holder had kept back 16p because the water on his site wasn’t available until 1st May whereas it should have been ready on 1st March!
In August of the same year, a letter arrived stating that the Churchfield site is ‘a slum’, but that is matched by the comment that parts of Piggottshill ‘look like the back streets of Calcutta’. Whether the person making the accusation had ever visited that part of India is not known.
It is true that the allotment sites were not always used in the manner for which they were set up; a bath appears on one site (2010), then another. A trampoline had been sighted a few years earlier. Children were having water pistol fights, and one went fishing. And, the landlord of a local pub had been caught filling up his duck pond using the society’s water.
January 1984 was a year to remember as it was reported there had been some dumping going on in the toilet on site and in the spinney next to the site. But, the committee decided as late as 1987, to avoid any further embarrassment, by agreeing to place a bolt on the inside door of the Piggottshill toilet to guarantee privacy for the ladies.
People sometimes make off the cuff remarks which, maybe, with a bit of thought they might not have made in the first place. It was reported that someone on the Sibley site had been on gardening leave – as a result his plot was much tidier.
In the late 1990s a committee member writes in to say that she couldn’t manage her plot properly because people often engaged her in conversation on committee business. A bad plot is the subject of a letter at Churchfield and the plotholder replies that he was ‘attempting to achieve the maximum crop for the minimum of effort'.
The style of the Society’s Secretaries has varied and there are several examples of humour. For example, the entry in December one year states that Harry Fisher continues to build structures on Mrs Scholl’s plot leads one wanting to hear more about this item.
The one we particularly like was written after an Annual General Meeting in the 1990s. ‘The Chairman reviewed the year with scant regard to chronology starting with the exceptional fine weather. We then surged ahead into June. Next, we leapt back to October ….a film crew for ITV kids programme The Food Factory was at Piggottshill. (Phew! How does a man of 83 find the energy for all this bounding and zooming?)
And how about this? In May, the suggestion of a possible magazine was dropped ‘with a resounding thud’.
And this? After a lengthy debate the minutes read: ‘This secretary refuses to put on permanent record in these minutes the complete waste of time and the deluge of harsh words that followed. It seems we forgot that we were there to discuss allotment gardening business.’ This comment was to be replaced by the Chairman’s (Percy Bradbury’s) amendment: ‘Whilst much of the Discussions Document’s contents were well received by the committee and were felt worthy of future discussion, it was felt that the presentation left much to be desired.’
There are many light touches such as:
2002: Chairman Derek Green exchanges flame-thrower for vacuum cleaner;
2008 August: The Society loses its ‘unfortunate acronym’ from the website page.
2009 Re muck: Athol has delivered manure onto site and his supply is now exhausted. Over to the horses
2010: Mention is made of a plot holder’s grape crop and his vintage referred to as Chateau SHAGS.
Finally, it is always advisable if you are in charge of the meeting to make sure you have the ear of the committee members. In one classic case of about-turns we read that the Chair states that these meetings have become too formal (Item 11 Committee Membership). In the previous month it had been agreed by all that the meetings were too relaxed.
But, let’s leave the final thought to our old friend Health & Safety. In November 2010, an item appears that lids are being prepared for covering water butts to meet Health and Safety requirements. It was noted that in the previous August and September that about four inches of rain had fallen. A minute states with conviction: No children found inside to date.